How to say no
A mini-course on setting boundaries
I want us to name what our comfort levels are.
I want us to feel like it’s okay to put our needs on the table.
And, most of all, I want us to know that we’re not being a problem by doing so.
When we continue to stay quiet about our own needs, we stay trapped in a system of resentment, exhaustion, and burnout
Most people I meet struggle with boundaries and, to me, it’s no wonder. We’ve grown up in a world that has taught us to prioritize:
I'm Nicole Perry, a Registered Psychologist specializing in shame resilience, healing trauma, and setting boundaries. In Fall 2020, I recorded a pandemic version of my Boundaries 101 workshop. In it, I went through just what a boundary is and isn't. I provided some examples of how we can respect our limits and offered some ideas of how we might begin working on boundaries in a self-compassionate way. I gave examples that were specific to living in a time of physical distancing and tried to answer common questions that came up around how to deal when our family or friends' boundaries are different than ours.
Almost a year after the original recording, I noticed boundaries seemed to be on everyone's minds. In the last few years, we've all had to think about our values and our needs, and most of the people I talk to have had to practice communicating them as well. We've had to talk through what does and doesn't feel safe for us, what feels okay to compromise on, and where our hard limits are. Many of us have had uncomfortable conversations with family members, and some of us have practiced putting our needs on the table with new connections as well.
I also noticed that more questions have come up for people, like: what do we do when what we want isn’t really clear even to us? Or, how can we navigate things when we feel guilty about the imperfect choices we’re making in this confusing time? This is why I decided it was time for an update and an expansion!
A new definition of boundaries
The signs that we're pushing past our limits
Ongoing practices for tuning into our needs and understanding ourselves
What to do when others don't respect our boundaries
How we can cope with guilt
How to say No in a pandemic
Listening to yourself
Making a decision
Dealing with guilt
Before you go...
Since the course is pre-recorded, it starts as soon as you're ready! This mini-course is designed so that it can be completed within an hour (like you're attending a workshop with me), though you're welcome to spread it out over a longer period if you like.
After enrolling, you have unlimited access to this course for 90 days. Even though this sounds like a long time, I know how quickly it can fly by. My suggestion is that as soon as you register, mark it in your calendar when you're going to sit down for an hour and do the course. Don't wait until you have "extra time" - trust me, that day never comes!
I definitely don't want you to be unhappy with a course you've signed up for with me! In order to help prevent this, I've done as much as I can to be transparent about what's included in this mini-course so that there aren't any surprises once you sign up. I also encourage people who don't already know me to have a listen to some of the podcast interviews I've recorded over the years or read articles I've written in order to get a sense of my style and my take on boundaries in order to make sure that we're a good match. I want you to be happy with the course and to feel like this is a full body yes! All that said, if you are unsatisfied with your purchase, contact me in the first 48 hours of your purchase and I will give you a full refund.
This course is a non-interactive educational experience, which means it's not the same as therapy nor a substitute for therapy. If you find that the material brings up strong feelings of shame or is connected with unprocessed trauma, I strongly encourage you to follow up with a therapist in your area. You may be able to find one through www.psychologytoday.com or www.therapyden.com (US only). If you reside in Alberta, Canada, you may also check out my website to inquire about my availability.
First, know what to expect. In this course I mainly use pre-recorded video lessons, with links to additional resources. I offer a mix of story, information, and activities to try out with me. Second, be honest with yourself about what you need, figure out what would help you the most in making this commitment to yourself and what will keep you going. Finally, practice! Making change takes time and practice. It may be helpful to think about how you can practice, integrate, or reflect on what you've learned after each lesson in your daily life. Keep in mind that healing doesn't happen overnight, and have patience with yourself.
Regular price